Failure

I have failed. Many times too many. Recently I heard someone ask Michael Jordan how he became a success, and he said, "I failed 26 times." That was how he succeeded. Many times in life, we are daunted by the task of how we handle failure. Personally, I have had my own share. Going through these challenges were not easy. But I have learned that resistance builds strength. Dating to my childhood, my mother told me she was shot in the chest a few days after my birth, yet she never gave up. I was lucky enough to survive after undergoing severe illnesses as an infant. As time progressed, I suffered from different ailments and life events. Growing up, my father worked around the clock to provide food, clothing and shelter for a family of seven. In spite of this, we were barely fed with a silver spoon. My doting mother, a woman whom I love so much, worked hard as a school teacher to provide additional income to our family but the Nigerian government never ceased to delay her monthly salary for several months at a time. In spite of the hardship, my parents were pricipled in their ways. Their generation did not solve all the problems but they were hopeful.


I strongly believe that there is a generation of greatness that used to walk this earth, and they left their mark; in the ways they thought, in their approach to problem solving, in the values they taught and in the lives they lived. Many of them are dead today, they were not all famous, and the truth is we will never know those that never became famous. However, these men brought up their children with fire and passion, with the zeal for nothing but to be the best that they could be. These people lived not for themselves but for others; their descendants, the ones who would come after, for us who are here now, and for the unborn. They taught their kids that a person should perform their life's work so well that the living, the dead and unborn could do it no better.

But the truth of the matter remains that actualizing these dreams would not come easy. Ask any noble person of bonafide greatness and respect, and he/she will tell you that greatness did not come easy. You see, some people are strengthened by failure and some are defeated by it. Who survives and who does not has little to do with money or advantage. It depends on inner strength of character; a primitive toughness that protects the self; that would not let mere external events affect it. This canal of survival is a precious possession, and discovering it is one of the real rewards of failure. It is a profound and powerful kind of self knowledge.

It is important to understand that failure itself, is not a die or live situation. It is an event that is defined by the 'self.' Failure can be caused by something external, over which we have limited control. It can also be caused by something internal (within us), over which we have more control. Finally there is moral failure, which may be disguised as success. So one of the most effective actions to take when dealing with failure is to understand which kind one is dealing with.

I don't know why I decided to write today, but I write from the heart. I have failed several times in different aspects of my life, but I never gave up. I have faced rejections, and 'NOs' many times but I never gave up. We have been told the word 'impossible' many times, but we never gave up. We have lost several dear people dear to our hearts, but we never gave up. I have been knocked down by many winds, but I never gave up. Like I mentioned earlier, resistance always builds strength. Never ever ever give up!

P.S. Stay humbled, focus and stay in prayer!      

Sincerely,  

LazioM.A.N

Lazio Tutoring Foundation

I'm very glad to say our work was published by RethinkNigeria. On behalf of Lazio Tutoring and its associates, we are honored to be featured on their website. Remember the cause is all for a greater purpose. To make Nigeria a better nation. The link is below:

Lazio Tutoring Foundation

Yours truly,

LazioM.A.N

My Experience with Injustice

On December 16, 2012, I bought a car wash groupon ticket from Fast N Clean car wash through groupon.com. Fast N Clean car wash is located at 4881 Sinclair road, Columbus, OH 43229. When I purchased my ticket, I called Fast N Clean car wash to schedule a car detailing that included  blue Coral polish and wax, clear coat protectant, wheel bright and black magic tire shine, rain-X and fragrance, underbody rinse, hand towel dry, dash and interior surface wipe down, interior and exterior window cleaning, and floor-mat vacuum. The deal on the groupon stated “Three full car washes.” It was a $75 value that I purchased for $29. A few hours later, I called Fast N Clean to schedule my appointment for the 28th of December at 8:00am. 

When I arrived at Fast N Clean on the 28th, I waited 30 minutes before the manager finally came to attend to me. He told me my appointment had been canceled due to the weather. FYI, NO ONE in this company called me to tell me about the cancellation prior to my arrival. I was told by the Mike, the manager to call and reschedule for another day. 

A few days later, I called Fast N Clean to reschedule my appointment. I was rescheduled for January 9, 2013 at 9am. Upon arriving for my appointment, I was again attended to by Mike who informed me that my name was not on the schedule. I was furious. He told me I had not called or probably called the wrong location. I pulled out my phone and showed him proof of my phone call, including the date and time of the call, and the number of minutes I spent during that phone call. A couple of minutes passed by, and the manager found my name listed in the back of the book he had written the names of the scheduled appointees for that day. Afterwards, the manager said, “I still cannot wash your car today sir, we are short staffed.” I informed him this was my second attempt to have my car wash, but he continually argued with me until he eventually agreed to wash my car first thing the following day. When I returned the following day, my car was detailed, and I was given a voucher that proved I was eligible for 3 details. The voucher is a small card given to customers that buy their tickets through groupon. The phrase ‘3 details’ was handwritten by Mike.

At this point, I became very dissatisfied with their service, but I wanted to use my money’s worth, so I told myself I would endure till I utilized the other two car services. I called Fast N Clean towards the end of February 2013, and I was told by Mike that the next available date was March 7 at 830am.

I arrived at Fast N Clean at 7:54am and was told to wait till 8am when the car wash officially opened. 

Upon my arrival, the same manager told me he could not wash my car because I had 'defrauded' him into detailing my car the last time, so I had used up my money. I was told my last detailing was meant to be $69 but I utilized the $200 service.  FACT: I paid FOR AN INTERIOR AND EXTERIOR DETAILING SERVICE THROUGH GROUPON. When I made this point clear to Mike, he changed the story and stated that my coupon had expired. So I logged on to the groupon app on my phone and showed him proof that my voucher was still valid. It showed that it expires on March 20. When he saw this, he said I was only allowed to use it once. His statement was FALSE; the ticket itself states ‘Three full car washes.’ 

When he saw this, he said, “I don’t care what you say, I’m still not washing your car today.”  Afterwards he asked me to leave and threatened to call the cops if I did not leave immediately. All this while, I had been in my car while he was yelling on my face. I welcomed his threat and told him I would wait to talk to the cops upon their arrival. The manager (Mike) called one of his workers and I saw them dial a number- I am unsure the number they dialed. I waited for 10-20 minutes but no cop showed up. 

The manager comes again and tells me to leave, that he doesn’t care what I say because he is not washing my car. So, I asked him to put it in writing, stating he was refusing to offer me service, when in fact he was supposed to offer the service. But he denied and began to curse at me. The manager of Fast N Clean car wash said, “I ain’t writing sh$%.” I did not respond with a single curse word.  Before I left, I told him he would meet me in court. I drove off afterwards. 

MLK said, “In justice anywhere, is injustice everywhere.” I absolutely think it is unjust to deny me service when I have all the rights to that service. I understand that we live in a progressive America where all individuals are supposed to be treated equal, but the fact remains I was treated like an animal by Fast N clean. Although I received my refund from Groupon the next day, this is more about injustice than getting my refund. I believe if Mike was able to get away with this condescending act with me, he would not hesitate to use the same irrational behavior on other customers.

I write this to speak out against injustice. I don’t know if the mere fact that I'm black or have a non-American accent plays a role in the manager’s decision to treat me like an animal, but I do not think this is right. It is absolutely unjust! I encourage everyone who reads this to speak out against injustice by sharing this article and telling your friends and family about the bad customer service at Fast N Clean. BTW, they have a ‘F’ rating by Better Business Bureau.

Author: LazioM.A.N 

Injustice

Shoot...Baby...Shoot!

Happy New year to fellow Lazio readers!...First, I must say a big thank you to everyone who has visited and commented on my blog since day one. So to all of you, I say...ooshhee!!!(Thank you)

Now to a more important topic on my heart, gun violence. Its no new story that recent gun related violence stories in America have sparked debates that might eventually lead to new gun laws, curbing or restricting the possession of certain types of guns. I have held debates with individuals on both sides, read stories and propositions and put myself in the shoes of everyone who voiced their concerns about this important issue. These are strictly my views, and I am very open to hold an intellectual debate on this issue.

It might seem a little weird for me to talk about this. Let's face it, I'm a Nigerian-born American resident with a funny name, story and accent. My family members, though I never saw them with guns, I have no doubt their military training would have exposed them to different types of semi-automatic weapons and artilleries.

We have heard and read about recent massacres; Aurora shooting, Sheik shooting and the Sandy Hook elementary massacre. These recent massacres, I believe, have sparked debates on gun violence, more specifically between the National Riffle Association (NRA) and Obama administration. During one of my talks, a friend told me about her strong belief in the judgement of our founding fathers; George Washington, John Adams, Abraham Lincoln, and others who fought through blood, sweat and tears towards the development of this great nation. My friend expressed her concern that America might just be losing its fundamental values as a nation with these ever-changing laws. She highly valued her second amendment right and felt that limiting our gun laws would only limit her freedom in the most democratic nation the world has ever produced.

Another good friend of mine made a point. She was concerned that 'if' a civil or international war ever came about in the United States, citizens might not be able to protect themselves. While I agree with her intent to protect America, I disagree with her approach.

First, I think as American citizens, it is very important that we remain objective and not subjective in our thought process, more specifically on the issue of gun violence. I start my first argument by sharing a quote I read from a Facebook friend's status. It says, "One of the signs of a dying church is when the pastor/ leader says, ' we have always done things this way'." That being said, I do strongly believe that the founding fathers fought for the freedom and greatness of this country. I also agree that these fundamental laws, written in the declaration of rights and into other parts of the constitution were put in because of the passion and love for this country. The truth is, we all love America. I love this country, and I would not want things to go down the gutter.

That being said, I think it is very important that we look at the current laws we have, re-define them, and decide if the current laws are applicable and favorable to the progress of present-day America. If the cons of the current laws outweigh the pros, then I think then it’s time for a change. A change I believe America's posterity would never regret.

Second, I think we should look more closely at the shooting massacres within the past year. Let's compare common traits of those incidents and analyze traits that the shooters had in common. From my evaluation, I observed two major things the shooters had in common.

1) All shooters used at least one assault rifle to execute their plans.

2) They all claimed to be mentally challenged or disabled

This brings me to my next point. Solutions!

It’s no surprise that people are killed daily all around the country with guns. More than 900 gun related deaths have been accounted for since the mass shooting in Connecticut. I think we should look at our short and long term solutions. Short term solutions would focus on ways to significantly reduce gun related deaths and injuries within a short time span. Long term solutions would focus on the same thing, only within a longer time span.

I support curbing and banning of semi-automatic assault rifles and I agree with President's Obama's proposal to limit the magazines. I do not see any reason we need weapons that would shoot multiple rounds at a time. Although I've never been hunting, I know people who take delight in hunting and I support keeping shotguns or other guns that would only be effective for hunting purposes. I think these types of guns would, to a great extent, protect majority of citizens who need to use one for protective measures at needed times. I think these measures would significantly reduce the number of gun related deaths, if executed today!

Long term, I think it is important to look at the state of care for mentally ill individuals in the United States. I agree with NRA's proposal to register all mentally ill patients in the U.S, the same way AIDS patients are registered. This will help gun and artillery stores identify and easily make decisions on potential customers' potential eligibility to buy weapons. Also, it is important to ensure that families of mentally ill patients have restricted gun access or undergo proper training on how to keep their guns away from the mentally ill family member. Psychologists and psychiatrists would need to come up with a system where individuals with certain mental diagnosis are prevented access to weapons.

Finally, I think its high time we re-evaluated our video games. Though these games are entertaining, it is important to know that they indirectly function as simulators for murder-suicide. Remember the same individuals who planned out 911 learned to fly planes via simulators. I have more ideas, but I'll stop here for now.

These are strictly my views and I offer no apologies for writing this.

P.S. I have no favoritism for any political party. I think it is simply common sense to choose leaders who have the capacity to be more efficient than blindly clinging to a party!

With confidence,

LazioM.A.N

To the victims of Sandy Hook Elementary

We were awoken this morning by our parents at 6am. To us, it was just another day, perhaps the last day of the week before going christmas shopping with mom and dad this weekend. "Sweetie, it's time to get ready for school." screamed my mom. After having breakfast this morning, little did we know how the day would end. We kissed our parents goodbye and entered the school bus.


At 9:05am, our first period began. It's funny because all through, I was thinking of what Santa had planned to get me this christmas. Then tragedy struck; at 9:40am, a young man who could have been the size of my uncle walked into my class. Our first period teacher never informed us of the possibility of having a visitor this morning, so we calmed down. Suddenly, this 'calmed faced man' brought out a riffle and began shooting at us. So we started screaming for help. I wished it to be just a nightmare, but it was real, this man was determined. He continued shooting, until I saw my best friend bleeding profusely. A minute later, my crush, whom I cared for and dreamed of marrying one day was suddenly lifeless, lying in a pool of blood.

The school officials must have heard the gunshots. Suddenly, Mrs Hochsprung walked in with our vice pricipal and school's psychologist in an attempt to save my fellow classmates. But this man meant business; he turned to them and opened fire. All three fell to the ground immediately, but somehow, the vice principal was able to crawl outside the class after suffering gunshot wounds on his leg.

With a blink of an eye, I saw this man point the riffle at the rest of us standing at the back of the room. This was the point we knew it was over. We felt pain, helpless and hopeless. I thought of my family, I wondered how my parents and siblings would take this. I thought of the plans we had for christmas; how my cousins had called me last night that they were excited to come spend christmas with me in Connecticut. I wondered how my mom would take this. She would fall apart. I begged God to hold her for me, confort and make her strong for me, I prayed the same for my friends. Then we started crying and screaming, the tears gave us headaches. Multiple bullets landed on our chests, heads, legs, back, hands and eyes. At that point, I became numb. I tried to reach out for my friends, but I was too weak to move. All I saw around me was blood. As we tried to help each other, I wondered who would give up first. But suddenly the pain stopped. Then I couldn't hear any other thing, but silence. I thanked God. The pain was over and we were finally at peace in heaven. At that point, I knew God only chooses to take his best.

RIP to all the victims of Sandy Hook Elementary School.



With love and my utmost respect,



LazioM.A.N

Differences In Cultures

Last month, I had the opportunity to attend a wedding in Houston, Texas. My experiences led to some nostalgic moments that have inspired me to write this blog. While I waited in line at the reception to get some dodo and Jollof rice, I could not help but activate my aggression (battle of the fittest) mode to ensure I was not cheated by other Nigerian guests waiting in line. Upon arriving home, I pondered on why I had been so aggressive while waiting in line, in spite of the fact that my aggression remains passive at predominantly American weddings.


I believe there are two types of aggression; passive aggression and active aggression. The passive aggression is that form of aggression that I have observed in American culture, more specifically, the Caucasian culture. When faced with difficult or chaotic situations, I have observed that Caucasians here tend to have a calmer way of responding to danger. By 'calmer," I mean having a concise view on things. To further explain, I will share an event I experienced a couple of months ago. Over the summer, a close friend of mine got married in Detroit. The wedding was suave; service was short and concise, reception started on time and everyone strictly adhered by the rules without any complications. Yes, it was an American wedding. I was more impressed by the fact that people shouted less, followed orders more, argued less, agreed more and ended the event at the right time. While dinner was being served at the reception, guests waited in line until they were called. In addition, I never heard anyone complain about another individual's greed or cynicism. At the entirety of the event, I was in my 'passive aggressive' mood.

Some months prior, I had just arrived in Nigeria to spend the Christmas. On the night of Christmas, I visited my cousin and decided to take a taxi commonly known as 'Cabu-Cabu.' Prior to boarding the taxi, I had done my research on the prices to ensure I wasn't cheated. Halfway through my ride, the driver stretched his hand to the back and asked all the passengers to pay. He shouted, ' E sanwo e mo'wo yin wa (pay now and give me your money).' I put my hands to my wallet and handed the driver 30 naira, the cost of my trip from Oju-ore to Fowobi station. When the driver approached Fowobi station, I ensured he was aware that my stop near. Upon our arrival, the driver told me I could not leave since I had not paid. I was shocked. I proceeded to telling him that I paid my fees halfway through the trip, but he disagreed. That was when I lost it, my 'active aggression' was activated. Here, there was no 911 to call. I proceeded to take matters to my own hands, and prove to the driver I could be crazy when push comes to shove; to leave the taxi without paying an extra dime. Just as an argument was about to exacerbate, another passenger decided to speak up on my behalf. He said, " Baba, he paid you when everyone was paying.' That was his saving grace. When I returned to the US, I thought about how I was ready to risk my life for 30 naira ($0.19).

That was active aggression. The type of aggression that most often projects itself with boistery and physical confrontation. I've experienced this too many. During my years as an undergraduate, I recall attending meetings with fellow African students. Within minutes of having a heated debate, we would gesticulate and shout until other people told us we were too loud.

As I conclude, I am yet to figure out why I was 'actively aggressive' while waiting in line for food at that wedding. Then it dawned on me, I was surrounded by Nigerians, even in Texas. I do not condone any of these cultural differences. Given the fact that I find myself at the cross-roads of Afrocentricity and the western culture, I embrace them and inculcate these two different characteristics defined by two separate societies to my advantage at needed times.

E pluribus umum; out of many, one. These observed differences have brought more unity than differences around the world. It has not only allowed us to appreciate the diversity in skin color, but also the way to project our mannerisms. Now I understand the saying, 'you can take the boy out of the village, but can't take the village out of the boy.' We are defined by our identity.



Sincerely,



LazioM.A.N

Education vs Real Education

A few weeks back, one of the attending ER physicians saw me reading the book "Warren Buffet Thinks Like a Girl" by the Motley Fools. He seemed surprised to see me reading the book but never uttered a word. A few hours later, he came back to me and said, “If I were you, I would quit medical school. If you really believe in all the books I see you read, I would never pursue a career in medicine.” I was shocked. When I asked him why, he told me there was no real money in medicine, besides, he takes too long to make ‘medicine’ money. 

This was the beginning of a semi-lengthy conversation that got me thinking. Several questions ran through my mind. How can an attending physician tell me not to go to school? How can he tell me school is a waste of time if I really want to be financially successful in this world? But he was right. Even the books I read are a testament to his advice. How many big time game changers earned a college degree? The likes of Bill Gates, Mark Zuckerberg, Dell, the owner of the Virgin Atlantic and many more businessmen make this list. These men only needed a vision, plan and capital. Today, they are bosses to some of the most educated men in the world.  

To execute big projects, you need capital. I mean HUGE capital. The ER physician proceeded to confirm the difference between him and I; he has a huge capital to execute but I don’t. Before we ended our conversation, he advised me to read other books to reaffirm his statement. I was puzzled, very puzzled. A week later, I found another book I had always wanted to read in a friend’s library. 

A couple of weeks after our initial discussion, the ER physician asked me if I had changed my mind. I replied, “no”, and I gave my reasons. His reply, “I think you can achieve that goal faster if you don't become a physician, unless you really want to treat patients.” That was where he got me. Don't get me wrong, I love money, but I want to make money doing what I enjoy. Medicine to me is not an end; it is a means to an end. Bestowing the gift of health to individuals should not be motivated by money. A passion should be observed in the practice. Yes, the degree looks fancy, but I believe the effective application of my medical education would hold more value. My reasons for going into medicine….. that's a topic for another day.

Reading these 'self help' books have enlightened me for over two years. But it wasn't until that very moment I thought about the difference between education and 'real education' (that's my definition by the way).

We have heard in previous times that 'knowledge is power.' I believe there are two kinds of knowledge; general knowledge and specialized knowledge. General knowledge, no matter how great, is of little or no importance to the accumulation of money. The departments of great universities possess practically every form of general knowledge known to civilization. Hence, most professors and teachers have little to minimal money generated in their lifetime. They specialize in teaching knowledge but do not focus on the organization and application of that knowledge. 

I think it is important to note that knowledge will not attract money, unless it is organized and intelligently directed through practical plans of action, 'to the definite end of the accumulation of money.' Lack of understanding of this fact remains one of the fundamental sources of confusion to people who falsely believe that knowledge is power. I say knowledge is only potential power. It becomes power ONLY when it is organized into definite plans of action and directed to a definite end.

Moral of the story: Before you decide to get an education, have an end in mind. That way, posterity has no regrets.

Sincerely,

LazioM.A.N